Pre-Covid, Canada was like a
man person on a mission. The goal was to banish all plastic straws. I believe the logic was such: straws kill polar bears. And so, more of the unreal ensued. Schools, in particular, became the breeding ground for such environmental madness.
Suddenly masks have become the flavour of the day for Canadian "values". Wear masks or kill grandma. It sounds harsh. But wear masks or kill polar bears can't be used, because such a phrase would be dripping in glacial-melted irony. You see, masks are everywhere. I do not refer simply to human faces. I mean they are in every ditch, river, and piece of the world that would otherwise be occupied with straws. Masks are literally littered everywhere - they are the new straws.
So what a predicament. How can Canada attempt to ban straws to protect the environment when they also mandate masks everywhere...
Enter Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau with the solution: We will ban not only straws, but utensils as well!
So now we have a coronavirus Canada where people are expected to eat using their own utensils, with such utensils banned, all so that polar bears can be saved, while masks are worn, which will kill polar bears, but not grandma, so that we can save polar bears.
My head hurts. This has got to be the final straw.
And it sucks.
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