Bravest Thing (He Ever Did)

It is a fine Sunday morning and my wife, children, and I are at a traditional Latin Mass many miles from our home. A typical occurrence plays out. I have our one-year-old boy of perpetual-motion in a headlock as he tries to wrestle away from me towards the teleological aim for someone his age: the glorious freedom of racing down a church aisle. Somehow, as I try a different martial-arts hold on this feisty kid - he takes after his mother, you know - I still manage to carry an open Latin missal and give the semblance of being at prayer. Fake it till you make it, I always say.  Glancing up at the sanctuary, I see two altar boys with the usual synchronized perfection one is accustomed to find at a reverent Catholic Mass. They look clean and professional. I am a hot mess. It is a surreal moment for me. How the tables have turned from when I was in their spotlessly clean shoes.  Just then I notice one of the altar boys give the look . His serving partner just messed up. I imagine the er

No longer shackled by a false religious narrative, the progress of humanity is reaching new heights. The latest affirmation of this progress comes with the COVID vaccine. I do not mean the vaccine itself, but, again, what "comes with" the vaccine. Get your vaccine everyone. Why? Because they are handing out free stickers, that's why! Experts are thrilled with this latest development. They say stickers are an effective way to encourage people to get the COVID shot. I am not making this up. To be honest, Dr. Experts, I would prefer a free soft ice-cream cone. But that's just me. On the other hand, little kids love stickers, and so one could certainly put their COVID sticker on a child to make him/her happy. And further, to be realistic, it will be the non-vaccinated who will be wearing a sticker shortly. Might I suggest an appropriate one? Perhaps a yellow star?